by Ingrid E. Newkirk with Jane Ratcliffe.While much of Newkirk's work has been focused on animal rights (and she certainly doesn't neglect that cause in this book), the book is more about going after what you really believe in and being true to yourself. She has essays and stories from 54 people whose actions have made a positive impact on others or who have simply gone after their dreams and succeeded despite many setbacks and obstacles.
You don't have to agree with someone's cause or beliefs to believe in their desire to reach for their dreams. I found the essays very inspirational because I have such hopes and dreams and want so much to be able to attain them (and soon because I'm getting older by the minute).
But I also found this topic to be a good discussion with my son. After working so many years in the corporate world helping other people achieve their goals, I have been quite enamored lately with the idea of reaching my own goals. I have also been quite disillusioned with what my corporate bosses are calling success (mainly its about money, greed, power and stepping on anyone in the way).
Just as beauty is in the eye of the beholder, I believe success is as well. To me a successful life is one that is lived to the fullest, one that is happy and serene. The idea of making more and more money while stepping on others to get it is not a good life in my opinion. Working to help others, just as we parents work to help our children grow up right, has an uplifting quality about it that cannot be matched by any amount of money.
In "One Can Make a Difference" the stories that unfold are of people who have achieved many kinds of successes (monetary and personal) all by following what's in their hearts.
We all want our children to be happy with the rest of their lives. Once we release them out into the wild, we pray that they not only find monetary success but personal success and happiness as well. We don't want them living in the poor house, but we don't want them ending up in the big house trying to get out of the poor house. So how do we help them follow their dreams, have a successful life and be able to live a decent life filled with things they need (food and shelter most importantly)?
I believe that anyone can achieve success if they believe in themselves enough and can motivate others to believe in them too. We see so many inspirational stories of people wanting to be actors, sports stars, rock stars or famous in some way that most parents know is a difficult path toward success. But through determination and a solid support system (namely their parents), they achieve the success they dream of. That's not to say it was easy, but that's what the determination is for.
It still scares parents to support their children's dreams when they seem so hard to reach. But if you discourage them from going for their dreams, you are essentially telling them you don't believe in them or their abilities. So even if they follow your advice of choosing a stable job that's in demand, they will never quite succeed. It won't feel right to them and they will be unhappy. Believe me; I've been down that road.
But it takes more than a solid support system to help your child succeed with their dreams. When I was having my son tested for reading disorders, the school also ran a few other tests to see his abilities in all areas. He has a high IQ but it was really skewed by one score that went way above the rest. All the rest of his scores (for math, verbal comprehension, motor coordination, etc.) were average to slightly above average, but his perceptual reasoning score was literally off the charts. I say literally because the chart ended at a score of 130 and he got a 136.
So I had to wonder what this meant. I had to think about how I could use this information to his advantage. Clearly there's some kind of talent there, but what? I was told it meant he'd be good at engineering, but the way I was told helped it sink in a little better. The man who tested my son used Legos as an analogy for me, saying he was probably really good at them because he can see what works and what doesn't in building his contraptions to make them stable and working. Well, not only is my son good at Legos, but they and other building toys have been his favorites since he was 2. He easily followed the directions to putting together his sets when he was 3. I did not help him; I was asleep when he came running in to tell me he did it all by himself.
I do not discount the idea that Legos could lead to a job in engineering. One of the founders of Google built a working printer out of Legos. But the point is that he could use something he loves (building and creating) to get into a career he will enjoy and be successful at. He talks about what he wants to be when he grows up all the time and I let him dream. But I also look into the paths others in that career have taken to get where they are. I encourage him to get to know more about it. I teach him what I learn about it. I am not just sitting back and letting him dream. I am showing him that success is not built on dreams alone. All the inspirational stories of people who have succeeded are of the battles they fought in order to succeed. He knows there's a lot more to learn than Legos, but he's willing to learn what he needs to get to where he wants to go.
So if your child wants to be an actor or rock star, let them get to know what it takes to get there. They may discover new talents along the way or they may discover it's not exactly what they thought it would be. Either way, if you let them go after their dreams now, they will know you believe in them and will be all the more determined to succeed at whatever they decide is right for them.
