A financial education: An important life skill

I haven't been writing as often as I normally do because we've been spring cleaning for the past couple of weeks. (Despite the snowstorm we had last week, it is still officially spring).

This is one of many life skills I think parents don't often think about as a necessary part of their children's education. However, when we release our children out into the wild, they need to know how to cook and clean and take care of themselves at home as well as in college or the workplace.

If your child has chores that allow him or her to help around the house, then you are off to a great start. Most kids have to help with the laundry and dishes. These tedious tasks are ones we must all face and are essential to living an independent life outside of the protection of our parents' homes.

Getting paid for work

Usually the discussion of chores with my son leads to a discussion of getting paid for them. Every time my son comes to me asking for a raise in allowance, I remind him that I had to work for my money when I was a child and I still have to work for the amount I get now. He has often brought up that I make more than him and I have always responded with a list of the work I do (at work and at home) and a list of the work he does. I tell him what minimum wage is and that if we were to calculate the time he actually spends on working, he'd be making less than he is now. That usually ends the conversation and work continues (despite some grumpiness). Sometimes we tack on more chores for more money and work continues (despite some grumpiness).

I thought I was doing a pretty good job explaining how finances work in the real world, but I was enlightened yesterday when I decided to educate him rather than clean. Most of the cleaning and donating has been done anyway and we are back on our regular cleaning schedule.

Beginning a financial education

So, I had decided to teach him about money, budgeting and credit cards (and the way they can ruin your life if not handled properly). It is part of what I consider an education of life skills. He is almost 12 and I believe I need to start teaching him finances now. I figure the earlier you start, the more it will sink in.

I think it is essential for kids to know how to manage their money. I never really learned finances in school (see my previous posts Faith in home-schooling reassured and Tax time a taxing time for more on my thoughts about the lack of financial education in public schools). They taught me how to write checks and we moved on.

My goal: Teach savings

My goal was to instill the idea of saving extra money you have left over at the end of each month rather than thinking it is extra and just spending it. I wanted to remind him that emergencies come up (like having to take the dog to the vet) and saving that extra money will help in the long run.

So, I started with an explanation of income, fixed expenses and variable expenses. I used my own budget as an example. (I teach him using multi-sensory methods because he's dyslexic. It helps him to have visuals along with the verbal lecture I give. I also had him view some BrainPOP videos on finances the day before to help explain certain topics before I started with my own discussion on it.)

I explained my logic of figuring how much I spend each month (because some months have 4 weeks and some have 5, I was also teaching averages). I also told him about extra expenses that may come up from time to time but not every month (like the dentist and doctor appointments) and how I plan for those (by putting money into a savings account). I also explained some of the emergencies I have had (usually the car or pets) and how the extra money I have at the end of the month has helped because I put it into a savings account. Notice, I emphasized the savings account a lot. Repetition is a good way to teach.

Don't be afraid to discuss credit cards

The hardest part for me was showing him how much I pay to credit card companies each month for overspending and not sticking with my budget in the past. I told him how many years it has been since I've used these credit cards and that I'll be paying them for many more years to come. At this point we discussed needs and wants (with emphasis on how saving his allowance can help him buy bigger and better Lego items or video games).

By the time we were done, he got to see how much I earn as well as how I spend the money. I had hoped that he got a pretty good understanding of proper management of money (and what happens when you don't manage it properly) and, of course, of the importance of saving money.

What did you learn?

Then I asked the all-important question: "What did you learn?" His answer just blew me away (and not only because it showed he was actually listening).

He said, "I didn't realize how much responsibility it is to have money."

I think my mouth actually hung open for a bit. I had never really thought of money and finances in such a way, but it's so very true and I'm so glad he voiced it.

A huge responsibility

Money really is a lot of responsibility. We spend most of our lives trying to deal with it, manage it, hang onto it, and not let others steal it away from us. It's not just about greed because we all need money to have a place to live, have food to eat, clothes to wear and more.

While it wasn't my goal for him to come away with this revelation for his first major financial lesson, I'm so glad that is what he learned. It is definitely more important for him to realize that money is a huge responsibility.

I still have one lingering fear from this lesson, however. Now that he's seen how much I earn, I only have to wonder how our next conversation about a raise in his allowance will go. I guess if he's willing to work more, I'll be willing to pay more. Although, I may wait awhile to discuss the "cost of living" raise many of us get. He's so smart, he'll find a logical reason for me to pay him that.

Faith in home-schooling reassured

When I discuss my decision to home-school my dyslexic son, I get a lot of opinions from people. Some are supportive, some are not but mean well, and some are just down-right rude.

The firm belief that most people hold onto that the public school system is the best way to educate a child is based on the fact that they were educated in the public school system and feel they fared pretty well.

There are a lot of responses to that.

Schools haven't adapted to the modern world

First of all, we need to learn to let go of old systems that simply have not adapted to the changes the country and world has gone through. The public school system I went to is pretty much the same one kids are in today (except now they have more testing and less learning). The focus seems to remain on teaching the basics and repeatedly testing and re-teaching them. When I look at school workbooks, curriculums and textbooks, they seem to all teach the same information, year after year. The difference in the math that is taught in third, fourth, fifth and sixth grade is minimal. History is also a subject that is beaten to death in the public school system. I know that new information about old topics is being uncovered every day. Do children in public schools get this new information? Are they encouraged to think outside the tired old textbooks?

Children need more than the basics

It's great to teach the basics in the younger grades because all kids need to learn how to add, but as kids get older, they need an education on new media, computer programming, web design and the skills people need to actually make it in today's world. They need to know that new information and new technology is being discovered and developed every day and they need to know how to keep up on the latest.

I had my son in an online charter school for a couple of years and they were still teaching references as dictionaries and encyclopedias. What about the Internet as a resource? What about professionals in business as a resource? This was an online school and their ideas for references and resources were still mainly old-school (pun intended).

Obviously you need to be careful when allowing kids to explore the Internet or use it as a means of research, but you can do your own searching, decide on websites you approve of and only let your child navigate those sites. My computer (I'm on a Mac) requires my authorization before my son can go to any website I haven't already approved. I believe many computers have ways to allow our children to safely navigate the web and get used to it as a tool for learning.

Not all kids learn the same way

My second reason for home schooling my son is based on the fact that the public school system still believes in a one-size-fits-all education. My son is dyslexic and does not learn the same way many other children do. I know that my son is not alone (check out the videos below). It is estimated that about 15-25 percent of the population has some kind of learning difference.

I was reading Learning Disabilities: A to Z recently and it reminded me how every class, every teacher and every school district in the U.S. is different. While one parent may be lucky enough to have a teacher that makes accommodations for children who learn differently, that is not always the case. If a teacher is unwilling or just not educated enough to make those accommodations, even though by law he or she is supposed to, the student will not succeed. While I would like to believe that the teachers educating the nation's children are there because they love to teach, I know this is not true. I went to college with a number of people who were studying to be teachers and their reasoning was not always altruistic. Some were in it for the summers off (boy were they in for a big surprise). One woman even told me she hated kids. Are those people going to go outside of their curriculum to make sure all the students in their classes succeed? No. They are going to stick to the book so they can earn their paycheck and move on with their lives.

Kids have different interests

Along those same lines, I have to ask why all kids are taught the same things? They aren't all interested in the same things. After they get the basics down (which they should have prior to entering high school), they should be allowed to explore their interests so they can be better prepared for college or a career once they graduate. Some high schools provide electives for kids to get their feet wet in certain areas, but kids can't be guaranteed that their interests will be covered. I didn't have an art option in my high school and there was only one foreign language taught. There are still schools out there today that don't have enough computers in them for kids to do research on or learn.

Kids in high school will continue to get the basics ad nauseam and told to explore other interests outside the school setting or once they get into college. By the time they reach college they are expected to make a decision NOW about what they want to be when they grow up without being given a chance to explore.

Did you really fare well in public school?

This brings me to my third reason for home-schooling. I don't think I fared that well with a public school education. Sure I did well, made all A's and went on to college. I still knew nothing of finances or computers. The School of Hard Knocks isn't the best school to learn these topics from.

Many people who say they are doing OK with a public school education are just kidding themselves. If they are really successful in life, it's not because of what they learned in public school. Most of my success can be attributed to what I taught myself, what I learned in college or what my parents taught me outside of school. I know this is the situation for most people.

Financial experts know that kids coming out of high school don't even have a basic knowledge of how to handle money. (See Tax Time a Taxing Time for more on this topic). I'm guessing this is the cause of the nation's credit woes and dwindling economy. You would think someone might figure this out and start teaching kids in the public school system the value of a dollar, all about interest rates, mortgages and credit cards.

Home schooling for success

There are many more topics kids need to learn in order to be successful in life and they just aren't getting it in public school. That is why I home-school. Why should I waste my son's precious early years (the formative ones where they learn the most) by teaching, re-teaching, testing and re-teaching again the same information year after year after year?

Yes, being repeatedly exposed to the basics in math, science and history makes them more permanent in his brain, but using the basics to study and explore new topics and information is just as effective in making them permanent. Plus, he learns more in the same amount of time.

Don't our kids deserve more than just the basics in education?

What it feels like to be dyslexic

A woman I spoke to recently has a son with dyslexia and is having quite a hard time getting the school system in India to understand what it means and what allowances must be made to help her son learn. She has been looking for some way that helps show those who do not have dyslexia what it feels like and what is going on in the brains of those who do. I located this video that shows what a dyslexic goes through every time he or she opens a book, magazine or other printed media.



If anyone knows of more resources that help explain dyslexia to those who don't have it, please share.

Famous people with dyslexia

Part of my goal with this blog and my website, parent-sharing.com, is to spread awareness of what learning disabilities really are and what they are not. Many people believe that someone with learning disabilities must not be smart but that is far from the truth. In actuality, most people with learning disabilities have a normal if not above normal intelligence. They are creative, thoughtful and sometimes super-intelligent people. So please watch the video above and share it with your friends so we can let everyone know how special and important our learning-disabled children are.

When the taught becomes the teacher

My son, Nick, announced to me this morning (before I even had a chance to get coffee) that since I had been teaching him typing and other essential skills, he was going to teach me how to use the Wii controller.

I guess it's something I need to know if I'm ever going to make it in the real world. ;)

So I played along. First I had to wake up fully, get my breakfast and coffee. I can't be expected to get right to work without proper nutrition just as he needs fuel before getting started on his schoolwork.

Before I had even fully cooked my breakfast, he had the Wii up and was tapping his foot impatiently. I had to wonder if I was that way with him. Is he making a point, even if not meaning to?

Let's get started, Mom

Finally my education was under way. He had me start off with an “easy” game where I would not die if I made a mistake. He has definitely learned his teaching style from me. He genuinely did not want me to get frustrated if I did not learn this skill very quickly.

He pointed out where all the buttons were. There are two controllers and each has a number of buttons and rotation tools. The one in my right hand (the Wii remote) has a main button on the top of the front with a directional tool, a button on the back, and several more buttons in the middle and lower part of the front. The other controller (the nunchuk) had a directional tool and two buttons on the back. In other words, there are a lot of buttons to remember, just like on the keyboard. Unlike the keyboard however, one button can do several different actions depending on what your situation is in the game.

So, after playing the game a while I decided I definitely had a lot more to learn. I type really well now (and am a professional at hitting the delete key to retype really well). But I have years of practice under my belt. This kid of mine learned the Wii controllers after the first hour or so of using them. It almost confirms my theory that kids born these days have an innate knowledge of electronic stuff.

More than just one lesson to learn

What it taught me the most is how it is easy to become frustrated when learning something that is not natural to us. I had to remember which buttons did which skills and which rotation tool would rotate what, and it was all so confusing. So if I relate that to teaching my son reading, well, he has to remember when “c” says /s/ and when is says /k/ or the occasional /ch/. AND then there's the times when “ch” says /k/. Yeah, that's confusing. Reading came naturally to me but not to Nick. And the Wii remote came naturally to him but not to me. It is the different way our brains work for sure.

How a dyslexic mind works

In the book, The Gift of Dyslexia I learned how many people with dyslexia think. It is by far the best description I've seen. The author, Ron Davis, is dyslexic and has that creative kind of mind that allows us readers to step inside a dyslexic's mind and visualize what it is like to think as they do. It is quite amazing. Davis describes it as picture thinking, but in 3-D and in constant motion. So Nick can be looking at the screen but can see the controllers in his mind and know which buttons are where. It is quite natural to him. He picked up typing rather quickly as well (when his only task was to hit the letters the game told him to hit). But with reading, (besides all the rules and contradictions to those rules) the letters need to stay put for him to understand them. His mind wants to move them around and rotate them. That's where the dyslexic mind becomes a problem.

Davis was frustrated with his inability to grasp reading but didn't let it get him down. His teachers were using their same old tricks to teach him but nothing was working because his brain worked differently. Davis invented his own way to understand the letters and make them stay put so he could read. He did this when he was still in grade school. Maybe he saw this reading thing as a challenge that he must overcome. Maybe he saw it as a puzzle to figure out. Whatever motivated him to overcome the obstacle of reading, he just did it.

Most dyslexics are very creative and develop some amazing ways to cope with this difference in the way their brains work. Some of the most amazing talents in history (and in the present) have struggled with dyslexia but have not let it get in the way of their success.

Learning to not let frustration get in the way

So I guess what Nick taught me was not how to work the controllers but that I need to learn how to not let my frustration with learning them get me down. I need to see it as a challenge and find my own way to master them. (If I just had a dyslexic mind it would probably be easier.)

Have you ever had to come up with a trick to teach yourself something when the traditional way wasn't working? What were your obstacles and how did you overcome them?