A success story

Recently I had the pleasure of meeting someone living his dream. He is not extraordinarily wealthy — he lives off of the kindness of strangers — but he is happy. Very happy.

The story of Fox Elipsus
Fox Elipsus went to good schools and attended Oxford based on the direction his family wanted him to go. He did really well in school and easily graduated with top scores. His girlfriend knew the path he was headed down was not the one he really wanted to be on. Just after he graduated, she encouraged (and even pushed) him to try out singing rather than continue along the path everyone else expected him to take. Even family and friends who were supportive of his song-writing were not encouraging the path of a musician. His father even said he would disown him if he became a musician because he believed it would bring shame on the family.

Despite a huge lack of support he went for the life he wanted. Why? Because he said success is not measured by money or objects but by happiness. And happiness is not making other people happy; it's enjoying the life you want. He certainly could have taken another path because he had the skills and education, but he knew there would have been a hole in his life that could not have been filled with financial success or making the family proud.

So he's out there now, touring the world with his music of peace, love, acceptance and cats because that's what he wants to do. He considers himself successful because he is happy and gains support from those who listen to his music and love it.

Going against the expectations
I saw Fox perform at a coffee shop in Carson City, Nev. Rather than just sing his songs, he talked to the crowd and got us to respond back to him. It was a very interactive and lively performance. Because he wants people to take part in his efforts to change the world, he engages the crowd so they feel up to it. No one feels alone or out of place at his show.

He also shares a great deal of his life with his audience. You really feel as if you know him when you leave. He's very open and encourages lots of hugging. He shared the story of his father with the audience and the lack of support he got. His song about his father nearly brought me to tears. It really made me think about how we parents affect our children through our actions.

I talked to him later to hear more of his story. Because of his experience, Fox believes parents should not force certain expectations on their children. Just because children are good at something doesn't mean they would enjoy doing it for the rest of their lives. His message to parents is to not teach their children to live a life that others want but one they would enjoy. He said living to make someone else happy will not make you happy. He shared that having all those expectations placed on him by his family made him feel like he was letting everyone down and he felt bad. He felt bad that he did not have his father's support. But he had to learn to let go of those feelings to do what he felt was the right thing for him.

Part of what he is doing is sharing his vision of a better world with others and asking them to join the movement to make a better world for us and our children. He feels it is worth stepping out of the norm and doing his own thing in order to create this change. He says on his website, "I believe that we can save the environment, but it is going to take change of such drastic proportions that we may be doomed unless a truly global movement takes over us, and soon. A movement which supports people ... human rights ... the earth ... and peace."



A strong spirit
Fox may not realize how lucky he is to have the kind of spirit that keeps him going despite the odds. I have friends who continued the path their parents laid for them because they did not feel they had a choice. They were afraid of not being able to make it on their own without support and probably, deep down in their subconscious, they would have felt ashamed for going against their parents' wishes or letting their parents down. It takes a strong spirit to go your own way without support, emotional or financial.

One of my friends was an accomplished pianist. She had incredible talent and accolades from friends, family and teachers. She dreamed of a life on stage performing at Carnegie Hall and other famous music halls. Her parents did not feel it was a good path and thought she should go a more "sensible" route. They could have sent her to any college or university she wanted to go, not only because they had the money but also because she had the grades to enter some of the more prestigious schools. She had a school in mind that had a terrific music program, but her parents refused to pay for it. They wanted her to go to the university they attended and would not pay for anything else.

So she went to the school of their choice, not hers, and became an administrative assistant. She is not happy with this path and has now lost her ability to play because of an on-the-job injury. She is miserable and I'm certain her parents did not expect this life for her either. But because they made a big decision about her life without even considering what she wanted, no one is happy.

Another friend of mine had been accepted into an MIT program but his father wanted him to study theology. His father refused to pay for MIT and sent his son to a theology program of his choice. Now my friend is working in sales, listening to people complain to him all day and not having any fun at all. He is financially successful but is also miserable.

We often make decisions for our children based on what we think is best for them, especially when it comes to their education. However, if we don't listen to what our children really want, we sometimes make decisions that will hurt them in the end, or at the very least give them bad memories or resentments toward us.

Let them go their own way
"Two roads diverged in a wood, and I —
I took the one less traveled by,
And that had made all the difference."
lines from The Road Not Taken by Robert Frost
If you are reading this because you are seeking help for homeschooling your dyslexic child, then you and your child probably march to a different drum beat already. Obviously, I think that's wonderful.

When I first found out my son was dyslexic it turned my plans for schooling him upside down. I had to learn a whole new way to teach. I had these expectations for him, plans and a set curriculum for study. But the more I pushed, the more he struggled. I had to learn to let go of my expectations and let him lead.

Letting go and letting him set his own curriculum was the best thing I could have done for him. His electronic expertise is far beyond anything I could have expected. I don't understand the tasks he's performing but he gets things working. I am no longer the teacher, yet he is still learning. I guide; I help when I can. I buy components or software he tells me to buy and he does what he needs to do. He tells me how to operate certain gadgets and programs we have. I couldn't have, in my wildest dreams, taught him all of this on my own, mainly because I never would have considered it. But this is the path he wanted to take and I got out of the way.

The future looks bright
I have no doubt now that my son will be successful in doing whatever he wants to do, and I will support him every step of the way.

Fox had just a little support in his venture but believed enough in himself to go after his dream. Not all kids have that strength of character in them. We humans are social animals and we need the love and support of others, especially our families. As parents, we want what is best for our children. We want to be sure they can make it on their own. We fear for their safety and well-being. So sometimes when they bring up dreams of being rock stars, actors, astronauts or careers that seem difficult to impossible to attain, we feel we need to teach them to be more sensible.

However, Fox's message would be to believe in the dream. We need to believe in our children more and let them dream. Dreams lead to wonderful accomplishments. Dreams lead to new and better technology. Dreams lead to the impossible becoming possible.

~
If you would like to support Fox Elipsus' dream of helping create a better world through music, please visit his website, listen to and buy his music, watch his videos, go see him live for free, and donate to the cause. Every little bit helps him continue on his journey.

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Fox Elipsus Shares Music, Fun, and Serious Messages on Free US Concert Tour